August 2, 2010



Random thoughts on the possible meaning of life.



Two years ago this very day I and John were married in a fun-filled day
filled with family and friends. Four days ago that marriage ended in what is
charitably known as an amicable divorce. It was my idea and I'm not going
explain any of it in such a public forum.



What I am going to write about is how we took time yesterday to try to bring
closure to this amazing whirlwind two year adventure. The first challenge
was waiting until we were both calm and rested. We'd tried a day earlier and
let's just leave it at, it wasn't my proudest hour. The next challenge was
finding a quiet neutral place to have the conversation. It took four tries.
Why do restaurants think we want music blaring at us when we're trying to
talk to someone? But on the fourth try we lucked out and found a quiet
corner in the lounge of a Hilton overlooking a beautiful view of the Clear
Lake. The waitress who kept us supplied with wine and water (it was after
all near 100 degrees outside) referred to the corner in which we parked
ourselves "the cave."



In retrospect, that seemed fitting enough. We're both trying to come out of
a cave of confusion and transitions. We had a long philosophical
conversation about how come it is that something can seem like such a good
idea at the time and then end up not being such a great idea later. And,
what does all this mean?



Well for the moment it means John is returning to his beloved Australia and
I am staying here in Houston for a while to honor work commitments I've
made. I also have the time now to figure out which of the many paths before
me might be the best one to take. My track record for making good decisions
about options hasn't been all that great so far this millennium. No
complaints. I have been blessed with some terrific experiences and
opportunities. If it's true that practice makes perfect, I'm about due for a
string of "A plus" decisions. I've certainly practiced enough in the "make
up your mind" department since the global odometer turned 2000 years a while
back. I DO make up my mind. It's just that other people and circumstances
show up that weren't part of the original equation. That results in making
some different decision. As one author I'm reading sums it up, "Life is just
one thing after another."



For what it's worth (warning: probably not much), here are conclusions from
this chapter of life:

* It's possible to be both very clear and totally confused about the same
situation at the same time.

* It's possible to both really care about someone and really not be able to
live happily ever after with that person.

*I'm not so sure it's true that God helps those who help themselves.
However, I am quite confident that God does help those in need-and usually
in the most amazing and unpredictable ways.

*Sometimes we hear just exactly what it was we needed to hear from the lips
of total strangers who have no idea they're saying anything significant or
timely.

*The Girl Scouts got it right. Make new friends, but keep the old. One is
silver, the other gold.

*This too shall pass.

*Life is short. Enjoy the sweet parts and try not to take out the sour parts
on other people. They no doubt have their own challenges to manage.

*As a retired bishop friend of mine put it at his retirement party, "For all
that has been, 'thank God.' For what is yet to come, 'Yes.'"